*The following article is translated from Hebrew so may not be as grammatically correct as my more recent articles. *
Forgiveneess:
“I must forgive those who hurt me, even if what they did is unforgivable in my mind. I forgive them not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because I do not want to suffer and hurt myself every time I remember what they did to me” – Don Miguel Ruiz.
The way Don Miguel Ruiz speaks here of forgiveness is not the popular way of looking at the word, I do not think it is the way the majority look at forgiveness on Yom Kippur (not that it is good or bad).
This is a new way of looking at forgiveness and honestly, it took me a while to absorb it and my mind was very opposed to it. Usually when we think of forgiveness, it is something we ask for out of a sense of guilt or out of a sense of desire to atone for something we have done and that we regret. It is indeed a completely valid and okay way to look at forgiveness that way.
But there is another way to look at forgiveness, it is a way that can bring us a lot of freedom and free us from a lot of pain – to forgive as an action we do and not as something we ask for. Why should we forgive someone who has hurt us or others or done something unforgivable in our eyes? Because we love ourselves, because we love ourselves so much that we do not want to suffer anymore, because if I hold a grudge then every time I remember what one person or another did I will experience suffering and the same event in my mind over and over and over again. Sorry for freeing myself from suffering.
Forgiveness is an act of release, releasing our resentment towards people, releasing the pain, releasing the idea of how they were supposed to be compared to how they were in a particular situation or how they really are now. What they were supposed to do versus what they actually did. Forgiveness can also be used for life situations that have happened to us and that we have not invited, challenges that arise, health difficulties, anything we hold a grudge against.
Consider the meaning of the word forgiveness in English:
Forgiveness – for giving up – to release
Release what? Releasing the resentment, the governing idea in our minds of “what was supposed to be”. It happens gently and not by force and slowly something changes.
For today, there will be no special adventure or exercise. Pay attention to your resentment, even in the smallest things. If you want and it does not feel forceful, take the same events and people towards you you feel resentment and tell them one by one: “I forgive you”.
This is a new way of looking at forgiveness and honestly, it took me a while to absorb it and my mind was very opposed to it. Usually when we think of forgiveness, it is something we ask for out of a sense of guilt or out of a sense of desire to atone for something we have done and that we regret. It is indeed a completely valid and okay way to look at forgiveness that way.
But there is another way to look at forgiveness, it is a way that can bring us a lot of freedom and free us from a lot of pain – to forgive as an action we do and not as something we ask for. Why should we forgive someone who has hurt us or others or done something unforgivable in our eyes? Because we love ourselves, because we love ourselves so much that we do not want to suffer anymore, because if I hold a grudge then every time I remember what one person or another did I will experience suffering and the same event in my mind over and over and over again. Sorry for freeing myself from suffering.
Forgiveness is an act of release, releasing our resentment towards people, releasing the pain, releasing the idea of how they were supposed to be compared to how they were in a particular situation or how they really are now. What they were supposed to do versus what they actually did. Forgiveness can also be used for life situations that have happened to us and that we have not invited, challenges that arise, health difficulties, anything we hold a grudge against.
Consider the meaning of the word forgiveness in English:
Forgiveness – for giving up – to release
Release what? Releasing the resentment, the governing idea in our minds of “what was supposed to be”. It happens gently and not by force and slowly something changes.
For today, there will be no special adventure or exercise. Pay attention to your resentment, even in the smallest things. If you want and it does not feel forceful, take the same events and people towards you you feel resentment and tell them one by one: “I forgive you”.
