• עברית
Search
Close this search box.
On Self Judgement

On Self Judgement

*The following article is translated from Hebrew so may not be as grammatically correct as my more recent articles. *

Accepting myself as I am:

“One of the biggest lies we hear is that no one is perfect, the truth is that everything that exists is perfect, including human beings” – Don Miguel Ruiz
The idea Miguel presents was hard for me to accept, I remember reading one of his books for the first time about 4 years ago and this idea and his way of looking at the world inspired me so much, but I had a hard time seeing it as real.
Why is it so hard for us to accept ourselves as we are? Why is it so hard for people to love themselves and others unconditionally? The answer is surprisingly simple: we have an image in our imagination and a false idea of ​​how we are “supposed” to be that conflicts with how we really are. The emotional pain, the lack of love and self-acceptance is created when we reject ourselves for not standing in this image of the perfect person or of who we should be, so emotional pain is created.
This is expressed in many ways: how we are “supposed” to show versus how we look, how we are supposed to function to be and succeed versus how we function, the money, achievements and abilities “that” we should have versus the money, achievements and abilities we have. In the gap between these two things there is a space where the judgmental voice in our brain judges us, the greater the space the greater the judgment and so is the emotional pain. Most people who notice this to some extent think the solution is external (and when I say most people it includes me in the past) and then try to reduce that gap by achieving external achievements, changes in appearance and building the “perfect life”. The problem is that it creates a lot of stress for them And they find that even when they achieve certain goals the judgmental voice in their brain simply raises the bar again as in the never-ending game of “perceiving” the unattainable goal of “perfection.”
There is another way to do it. What if we accept ourselves now as we are, what if the way we are now is fine. I warn you, it is not that easy because we are very used to believing the judgmental voice in our brain and have given it a lot of power and faith in our lives but it is entirely possible. All it takes is to stop believing what this voice says, it happens by questioning the voice, by us taking it seriously and giving it attention (and if we already do, why not see it as funny!). What if we go to fulfill our goals, grow and improve out of love and not out of lack and fear of self-judgment? What if from now on I love myself and accept myself no matter what happens in my life?
an adventure:
Take a sheet of paper and write down one thing that the judgmental voice in your mind judges you on. It can be related to my looks, my accomplishments, my confidence, my personality or all sorts of things.
Once you have written down, be aware of the fact that this is a fictitious idea that this voice presents to “how you are supposed to be”. That’s okay, do not worry if it feels real, just be with it for a moment, awareness is the first step to change something.
During your day, be aware of what the judgmental voice in the mind is saying, do not believe it honestly! Is what he says really true? How accurate is that? Does everyone see it that way? Are there no other ways to see what I can think of? What happens if I see it differently?
An excellent book and an excellent process I know to deal with is Byron Katie’s “Loving What’s” where she teaches an excellent process for raising thoughts in the mind. This is not personally the process I use but it is similar, accessible, effective and excellent, I will put a link to it in the comments below.
Enjoy and thank you for reading and giving it a chance

Table of Contents

3 Tips To Make The Most Out Of Your Spiritual Practice

I’ve been practicing the Spiritual work on a pretty much daily basis since 2018, Over the years of practice, I was looking for ways I can accelerate my progress and better make the changes I was looking to make. In that process, I learned that there are some things that

Read More »

What Can These 2 Pillows Teach You About Finding Harmony Between Your Mind, Heart And Spirit?

Hey Reader, a few weeks ago I ran the first part of the Integrating Heart – Mind – Spirit workshop series, and from what people had to share, they found it really helpful and amazing. One woman shared that she experienced no judgment from her mind for 3 whole days (that’s a huge achievement for her), another shared she found a deeper understanding of herself and inner peace, and a 3rd shared about how she got in touch with a deep pain in her heart she didn’t see as clearly before. This…

Read More »

The Understanding That Changed My Life + [FREE WORKSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT]

You are made of heart, mind, and SOULSELF. The embodied understanding of this can change your life. In truth, you are the self, you are the soul, but in this human vehicle you operate, you also have a mind and a heart. Another name for the heart in how I refer to it here, is the emotional body. At your best, you 3 are an awesome team, creating a better life for yourself, a better, happier you, and a better more happy, and thriving humanity. At worst, your mind can abuse your emotional body…

Read More »