Cross-Generational Trauma is real.
I see it, I see it often, with clients, with how people behave, with my own life and patterns. Patterns of families, and the smallest of patterns in our daily lives.
The thing is, we don’t usually consider that some of what we do and our issues, and what our characters and mind are doing, is a pattern from a long long time ago, but we can explore that and discover it, and that discovery in and of itself is one of a huge step to letting it go.
I remember my first time seeing really clearly how far back it goes, how deep it is. I mean, I would see how I act out things that my parents do, but it wasn’t the same as what I’ll share next.
I was dealing with a challenge, a part of me believing he is not worthy, that was his belief, and I had no idea why, but it was showing up big time and sabotaging my life.
I went to Gary for a session, and he helped me out with it, but the discoveries in that session were amazing. As we were questioning the origin of that belief, and the part that believes it, we learned how far back it goes, and I burst into amazement and deep pain and tears:
My grandmother, who passed away just a month or 2 before I had that session with Gary (May she rest in peace), was one of the first in the family to carry it. She was in France during WW2, and when the Germans came to Paris and took her father to a labor camp ( he later died ), she , at 5 years old, was sent into hiding in a Christian monastery in suburban France, far away from the noise of war and discrimination in Paris, and there she hid her Jewish identity, she even befriended a few Nazi soldiers there funny enough who enjoyed her good sense of humor.
Her sister stayed closer to her mom in Paris. When the war ended, and my grandmother, now 8 years old, finally reunited with her mother after 3 years, she must’ve been so excited, so happy to see her mother again. The only thing is – things were different now, her mother lost her husband and many family members and was emotionally and physically exhausted from hiding, she already was taking care of her younger sister, and she told my grandmother, her 8-year-old daughter that she’s sorry, but she doesn’t have the energy to raise her.
This deeply broke my grandmother’s heart, and she was sent to a boarding school where she didn’t feel like she belonged and remained there for 8 years until at age 16, when then, without her mother, she immigrated to Israel.
And this, this turned out to be, the origin of why I had a part of me deeply believing she is not good enough, I still had grandma inside me. Because in that session, my consciousness was transported to my grandma’s mind and body, I could see all of these events unfold, I could see how she felt, and I could see the pure heartbreak she felt about what her mother told her, which, was felt as way more painful than the war, and even than her father’s passing. In that moment she deeply etched in herself the belief she was not good enough, and that belief I sensed moved through generations, I could see how it moved onto my father and his sisters, deeply struggling with self-worth issues, and then all the way to me and my sister.
After that session, I haven’t really believed that belief about myself in the same way anymore, it shifted something very deeply inside me, and I was in tears for many days, never again the same.
I don’t believe I just broke this belief for my own heart and self, I believe I broke it for my grandma, wherever she is, and maybe even for my whole family, maybe at least a little bit.
So, today I am inspired to share this, and show, there’s a lot more to the process than what we see. Having seen that also in clients recently, it becomes more clear, how important to me this aspect is, and to have the know-how of how to explore it.
These deep insights are not intellectual, they come from feeling emotions, and from deep emotional embodiment, dreaming, and connection. They are felt first, and only understood mentally later.
Do you have some sense or insight of how cross-generational trauma impacted your life? Please share your account with me at email@example.com ., even if briefly what was discovered.
And if you want some help with it, and you think it’s impacting you, you are welcome to contact me and I’ll see what I can do to help.
Much love and peace to you all, Daniel❤️.