I was talking to a client recently and sharing that focusing on feeling good rather than focusing on how I’m actually feeling is something that really got me stuck in my process sometimes.
I was obsessing about feeling Good RIGHT NOW, instead of feeling what’s actually here and I think that if I simply focused on what I’m feeling now and being and working with that, I would have made progress much faster – and of course, I’m still thankful for the learnings that came from trial and error.
Don’t get me wrong – My goal still is and always will be to be happy no matter what.
To me that is the ultimate goal.
But I think we need to separate out the goal from the process of attaining it.
If my goal is to bench press 250 lbs, it doesn’t mean I’m going to get that right away.
And bench pressing that amount of weight also includes ample rest time, recovery, and even muscle strain and pain.
That is all part of the process.
So if we focus on the process rather than the end goal, we can actually make progress much faster.
That means facing our deepest feelings and darkest beliefs and our most unconscious habits and patterns with ruthless honesty, love, and compassion rather than using intellectualization, rationalization, and denial to avoid them as much as possible, or to desperately attempt to “feel good” or “think happy thoughts” when we’re actually feeling like shit.
It’s not about purposefully becoming a negative or a victim, it’s about owning and taking 100% full responsibility for our experience, looking at it honestly, and doing the gentle, compassionate work to heal, integrate and impact it in a positive level.
In LovingKindness, Daniel❤️.