*The following article is translated from Hebrew so may not be as grammatically correct as my more recent articles. *
How can working on your negative beliefs help you in life?
I want to take a simple and perhaps common example but also turn it around a bit and maybe also give some vision to a future society and unrealized potential of women in a world that breaks some social stigma.
At first I thought of giving a practical example of a man who is afraid to start with a woman but I thought it would be cool to do the opposite: a woman who is afraid to start with men.
So let’s take someone and call her Michelle. Michelle wants a relationship and for example let’s imagine she’s at a bar or social event with a lot of friendly people and there’s some man or two who find her interesting and she wants to talk to them.
At Michelle’s will, in her heart and without any limiting fears and beliefs, she would easily approach those people, develop a conversation and see where it leads from there. Whether they are interested or not, whether he goes or not – she loves herself so it does not matter, she will do her best and go after what she wants in her life.
But Michelle has a number of beliefs that stop her and limit her and honestly she just thinks about the idea of approaching one of the men she feels a tremendous fear in her chest and stomach and it is as if a black cloud has landed on her. And what thoughts in her head say: “You have no chance”, “He must have a girlfriend”, “He will think it’s weird that a woman starts with a man”, “Women do not start with men”, “You are ugly he will not be interested in you”, “You stupid what Will he find you special? ”
These are some examples from a large number of options.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? It does not have to be with starting with the other sex but with a variety of things you wanted to do but something called fear stopped you.
There are several ways and tools to deal with this but I think everyone must start with what is sometimes missed: we are not our thoughts. So, Michelle can look at her thoughts and fear and the first thing she will notice is this: “Oh wow, my mind is really scared of me starting a conversation with this man.”
Maybe for the first time the fear will be so strong and the thoughts so strong that Michelle will really avoid taking action but what as Michelle looks at these thoughts comes up and recognizes that they are not her – she will start to believe them less.
There are real tools to help us believe less in our thoughts and start questioning them and the first step is to recognize that they are not us. From there anything is possible.
It’s not easy and we were all there, the first step is to admit the fear and acknowledge that he is here. I can not imagine how I would have done this process alone and I am very grateful to my mentors who helped me in the process.
If you are very excited about the opportunity of inner freedom from limiting beliefs and do not want to let fear continue to stop you in your life, please know that there is something to do with it and that you are not alone because it really is not as easy as it seems and as presented. I help people do that and we do amazing work together.